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By Jack Joseph Smith

CHAPTER I Through my life I have over waking wished I had not done things timelessly forgotton through tomorrows pain. My wrongs were never now. My sadness was always a moment into yesterday. Later. Inter-aching in the inability to confront patience in the present rushed hard on me. And froze me in the thought, That I was unable to do what I knew was right. I would take all warmpths to and from others. Take all THE agony THAT TELLS TIME AND IN A gathering moment, I would say. I am leaving all things dear to me. No longer would I want warmpth, if it was assumed forever. I would break from all people meanful to me in the immediate, and love only at a distance. I wished for it always, and in my almost dreams even demanded death of those to close. A thousand times I thought myself cursed with understanding, but lost in others peoples illusions about what I was not. All this time I called for a prayer, never understanding the one on my own lips. Perhaps I would begin to understand my need for answer without question. I gradually began to feel my wish come true. It turned inside then tore, but my skin remained unskathed and clear, Turning my death into an internal march. My wish would not be granted, until I doubled my burdon of love and left, SO TWICE IS the burdon of my worthy wish. Careful as a craftsmen, I had my burdon of love, as one who builds bridges alone. Then my insides reached my face, and spoke bulgeing from my eyes. The force of my life was ripping my head in half, when everyone saw and slowly left, but all for their own reasons and none for mine. My wish had left it to me. cut your head off DEATH CAME EARLY IN THE SOUNDS I HEARD, - or SO IT WAS SPOKEN, AND by former INDIANA FARMER, I WAS WAS TAKEN FROM THE LOS ANGELE CALIFORNIA dream THROUGH A --

Original Scan

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AI Interpretation

GPT

The opening page frames life as a conflict between love, distance, self-knowledge, and death, with handwritten revisions intensifying the burden of love before a continuation links an Indiana farmer to departure from the Los Angeles California dream.

Its confessional voice treats suffering as an inward force that eventually breaks through the face. The craftsman and bridge-building images connect love to solitary labor, while the handwritten cut your/head/off annotation sharply exposes the violence inside that meditation. The late geographic turn opens the private crisis toward ancestry and displacement.

Claude

Under the heading CHAPTER I, the narrator confesses a life of regret and self-exile, wishing to take 'THE agony THAT TELLS TIME' and to 'love only at a distance', until his inner force 'reached my face, and spoke bulgeing from my eyes' while everyone left. A handwritten continuation, 'DEATH CAME EARLY IN THE SOUNDS I HEARD, - or / SO IT WAS SPOKEN', says a former INDIANA farmer took him from the LOS ANGELE / CALIFORNIA dream, and breaks off at 'THROUGH A --'.

The page opens the memoir as confession rather than scene, turning guilt, love, and withdrawal into bodily pressure: the skin stays 'unskathed and clear' while the self tears inside. Handwritten revisions such as 'SO TWICE IS' and the margin note 'cut your head off' sharpen the violence of the typed meditation. The unfinished handwritten close shifts from inner crisis to a story of being carried away from California, setting up the narrative to come.